Can you live in a house with four walls but no doors or windows? Would that feel like a prison?

Imagine trying to keep out the rain from entering but in the process also not letting the warm sun rays touch you in the morning. This is the effect of a wall where nothing is penetrable. 

In the presence of walls, not only is the entry of experiences forbidden but so is the exit of wounds.

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So, why are walls created, and what is the reason for them to become so rigid and tall over time? Let us explore through the process of backtracking the causes of our vulnerabilities.

The walls we build

We create walls because they are an easy way to keep foreign objects from entering. 

  • No one can hurt me as long as I stop myself from feeling.
  • The reality of my life won’t bother me as long as I bury myself in my work.
  • It’s best if I don’t get too close, this way, I won’t feel bad when they leave me.
  • If I leave now, I won’t fear losing them in the first place.
  • Best I keep a distance, lest they control my decisions.

Life was meant to live not to fear and yet so many of us fear the worst in people. No one is to be blamed for feeling this way or building walls. At the same time, a solution has to be brought to the table. Let us first backtrack the cause of our fear to understand the solution.

The 3 Manifestations of Fear

Fear mainly stems from three areas:

  1. The fear of getting what one does not want
  2. The fear of not getting what one wants
  3. And finally, the fear of losing what one does not want to lose

The causes of these three manifestations are driven by the feeling of incompleteness. We draw a circle and think it can be broken by external factors. Not unless we give these external factors to drown us in illusions. Yet, we fool ourselves into thinking that we were never complete in the first place and that what we receive or give up will make us complete.

So, we act accordingly:

  1. I will be happy if I don’t get what I fear getting in life
  2. I will feel good if I get what I want
  3. I will feel a sense of completeness if I don’t lose what is precious to me

A wall is a barrier behind which we stand tall, thinking it’s our protection. Just like a firewall that protects from hackers and malware attacks. But there are walls we’ve built internally in places where they are not needed. 

The walls we build out of fear define the type of vulnerabilities we possess. We use it to protect ourselves from the unpleasantness of life. However, a leader with a high SiQ can identify these walls developed within and can work on dissolving them to experience leadership to its full potential. 

Remember that with a high SiQ, a door of fulfillment is designed on my walls that allows me to surrender to life’s gifts.

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