“Be Positive!”
How many times have you heard someone say this to you? Maybe, you’ve conveyed the same message to a close friend or family member. It’s good advice but there’s an invisible piece of wisdom or an unspoken truth.
“Be positive as you work on sorting out reality.”
Working out is not only meant for the gym. It’s also meant to figure out, identify problems, and work toward a solution. If we keep complaining while telling ourselves to be positive, the issue at hand will remain.
Let’s say, I don’t look at a problem and decide to put my mind to something else. Let’s say I slip into a fantasy world to avoid a certain unpleasant reality of my life. Will the problem disappear? Rather a delusion will settle in my mind, and I am tempted to let that delusion stay there as long as it wants.
In life, facing a situation sometimes gets overwhelming. We call that situation ‘reality’ and it is scary because the consequences are dire. Nonetheless, there comes a time when we must face it and rectify it or simply develop the courage to go through it. That’s where one transcends from reframing the mind to retraining the mind.
“When the storm subsides, you are either left with nothing or you are left with something to look forward to.”
~Krescon Coaches
Mirror, Mirror on the Wall
Imagine you look at a mirror on the wall, and the mirror has several scratches on it. Would you continue looking into that mirror? You would prefer to look into a mirror that isn’t broken.
So, your next step is to change the frame of the mirror, right?
You may be wondering that if the mirror has scratches, why am I suggesting to change the frame? That’s because, in real life, most people have decided to change the frame first and let the mirror stay in its current condition.
To further simplify, many people, afraid to face the situation, decide to live in the mirage of a hope that the problem will solve itself. In this case, they are reframing their mind rather than retraining their mind.
In other words, we are not changing the scratched mirror, but rather changing the frame.
So, if it’s the mirror that’s the problem, why look at the periphery?
Reframing Versus Retraining the Mind
That is why, it is necessary to retrain the mind to look at situations for what they are! Many coaches these days train their clients to visualize positivity, like their dreams and aspirations.
Do you want to own a Mercedes? Think that you already have it and that it’s lying in your living room. Imagine what you are doing with it; opening the door, sitting in the driver’s seat, feeling the steering wheel, adjusting the rear view mirror, and the side mirrors, checking the engine oil, checking the gears, turning on the engine, switching on the AC, turning on the radio, and then taking your new car out for a spin.
Now, open your eyes; what do you see? An empty living room. You open your eyes to reality and realize that unless you plan financially, you can’t buy a Mercedes. So, the empty room remains empty until you work on your dream.
Simply, visualizing is not the answer but visualization with action is!
Therefore, it is important to transcend from reframing your mind to retraining it. Break down your problem into different sections. Work toward resolving each issue and then slowly inch toward the solution. Let your mind learn that closing its eyes won’t drive away the problem, it will simply interfere with visibility.
Look for the points where your thought process is stuck, and go from there in terms of training your mind to change its approach towards reality. Many people glaze over the underlying currents of a situation rather than facing it, so don’t glaze but gaze at the problem and learn ways to resolve it.
The best way to do this is to move on to the Ground of Neutrality, analyze your situation from an objective point of view, and then take action. A leader with a high SiQ or Spiritual Quotient will be able to gaze at the problem for the Ground of Neutrality rather than glaze over it.
