“Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising every time we fall.”

Nelson Mandela

Setbacks come as hard lessons and they aren’t always pretty. When we face them, our first reaction is to build rigid walls to never let them happen again. But how do we make sure to grow as divine humans instead?

It happens… from time to time, we divine beings experience humanness. We get fooled, cheated on, duped, lied to, and heartbroken. That’s what adds to the adventure of learning the new and unlearning the old lessons.

Be it in a personal or professional relationship, when that happens, we do the “hold-on and let-go act”. We hold on to the experience while we let go of our willingness to trust, be it ourselves or anyone else. As we lose the ability to trust, we also become more suspicious.

Have you met a leader who is suspicious of everything and everyone around them? Ever met a person who talks less to avoid anyone knowing what he or she is thinking? There’s no harm in talking less, it’s better in fact! However, the intention behind the act is what matters. 

The once-bitten-twice shy leader

Let’s say a trusted employee stole a large sum of checks from the accountant’s desk drawer which was locked. The employee fled from the company and was never caught by the police. What do you think must be done?

• Check the surveillance in the office and call the police
• Get an investigation done to identify the whereabouts of the employee, now a thief.
• Suspecting every employee who might be more in touch with the thief
• Establish and implement a strict bag check during entry and exit from the work premises

You see what happens is strict measures of security are established while suspicion of everyone around is on the rise. The seed of suspicion is such that if used more than a certain extent can become unhealthy for everyone.

It’s perfectly alright to be a little suspicious but an overly suspicious nature can drive everyone away.

Fear is the cause for suspicions.

However, a leader with a high SiQ will operate from a point of awareness, realization, and understanding. This does not mean that high-SiQ leaders do not suspect, but they keep this emotion in check while dealing with situations more objectively.

At the same time, a leader with a low SiQ will allow the seed of suspicion to germinate, sprout, and branch out into all areas of life. The cause of having suspicions is the fear of being cheated. While this is true, there is yet another underlying emotion that surfaces and it is self-judgment.

Since one was cheated or fooled before, today they live with the fear of encountering the same experience again. In the process, they also start to become extremely self-critical, blaming themselves for being fooled or cheated.

It was like what the famous poet once said,

“The wound is the place where the light enters you.”

Rumi

Therefore, past experiences, even the painful ones, can be the catalyst for personal growth if one lets go of self-judgment.